Things right now, well they just feel like a mess.
Hopeless, scared, unsure of what's going to happen. I'm going through those feelings, and tons of others thanks to my employer of five and a half years. On July 15th, 2008, they decided to get rid of my position at the bank in order to "tie up loose ends" in preparation for the buy-out. They did give me an option to stay, but for less pay and a crummy position, so I went with that, but in the meanwhile I'm looking for a new job. And that's where I am today, nearly a month later.
One good thing came out of this though. Just to get my mind off things each day I go out for walks in a park that is nearby my apartment. I just walk around a huge track, with my ipod in my pocket, and just walk and let my mind wander. I got a nifty comfy pair of new running shoes, some cool shorts and tshirts, and I just.. walk. Each day usually. I'm making a good habit out of it, and it's something I look forward to doing at the end of the day. While walking though I work up a great sweat. Maybe it'll help me lose a little weight too heh.
But I'm really feeling low lately too. Much more low and depressed than I've ever felt. My life is at a crossroads it feels like. I feel lost. There isn't much reason to keep pursuing my career as a banker at the bank I'm at now after seeing what they really think of me. And to be honest, the day I leave the bank, it will be a huge loss for them, because they'll be losing an awesome worker. Someone who doesn't run away from hard work. But oh well, their loss. But like I said, I'm at a crossroads. I don't know where to go, or what kind of work to do. Cindy has asked me many times lately "What do you want to do?" but to be honest, I don't know! Maybe try to work on my art, see if I can make a career out of it or something. But really, I don't know. Banking is all I've ever known, and damn it that isn't good because it's not what I want to do with my life!
Been reading some books Cindy loaned me. "When God Winks" and "The Last Lecture". Been reading, and walking, and trying to untangle the confusing mess that my life has become lately. The road ahead of me is murky and dark, foggy. It's hard to read the signs, but I'm trying my damnedest to figure out which way to go.
Hopeless, scared, unsure of what's going to happen. I'm going through those feelings, and tons of others thanks to my employer of five and a half years. On July 15th, 2008, they decided to get rid of my position at the bank in order to "tie up loose ends" in preparation for the buy-out. They did give me an option to stay, but for less pay and a crummy position, so I went with that, but in the meanwhile I'm looking for a new job. And that's where I am today, nearly a month later.
One good thing came out of this though. Just to get my mind off things each day I go out for walks in a park that is nearby my apartment. I just walk around a huge track, with my ipod in my pocket, and just walk and let my mind wander. I got a nifty comfy pair of new running shoes, some cool shorts and tshirts, and I just.. walk. Each day usually. I'm making a good habit out of it, and it's something I look forward to doing at the end of the day. While walking though I work up a great sweat. Maybe it'll help me lose a little weight too heh.
But I'm really feeling low lately too. Much more low and depressed than I've ever felt. My life is at a crossroads it feels like. I feel lost. There isn't much reason to keep pursuing my career as a banker at the bank I'm at now after seeing what they really think of me. And to be honest, the day I leave the bank, it will be a huge loss for them, because they'll be losing an awesome worker. Someone who doesn't run away from hard work. But oh well, their loss. But like I said, I'm at a crossroads. I don't know where to go, or what kind of work to do. Cindy has asked me many times lately "What do you want to do?" but to be honest, I don't know! Maybe try to work on my art, see if I can make a career out of it or something. But really, I don't know. Banking is all I've ever known, and damn it that isn't good because it's not what I want to do with my life!
Been reading some books Cindy loaned me. "When God Winks" and "The Last Lecture". Been reading, and walking, and trying to untangle the confusing mess that my life has become lately. The road ahead of me is murky and dark, foggy. It's hard to read the signs, but I'm trying my damnedest to figure out which way to go.
Labels: Crossroads
posted by Jerod at
9:08 PM
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