Things right now, well they just feel like a mess.

Hopeless, scared, unsure of what's going to happen. I'm going through those feelings, and tons of others thanks to my employer of five and a half years. On July 15th, 2008, they decided to get rid of my position at the bank in order to "tie up loose ends" in preparation for the buy-out. They did give me an option to stay, but for less pay and a crummy position, so I went with that, but in the meanwhile I'm looking for a new job. And that's where I am today, nearly a month later.

One good thing came out of this though. Just to get my mind off things each day I go out for walks in a park that is nearby my apartment. I just walk around a huge track, with my ipod in my pocket, and just walk and let my mind wander. I got a nifty comfy pair of new running shoes, some cool shorts and tshirts, and I just.. walk. Each day usually. I'm making a good habit out of it, and it's something I look forward to doing at the end of the day. While walking though I work up a great sweat. Maybe it'll help me lose a little weight too heh.

But I'm really feeling low lately too. Much more low and depressed than I've ever felt. My life is at a crossroads it feels like. I feel lost. There isn't much reason to keep pursuing my career as a banker at the bank I'm at now after seeing what they really think of me. And to be honest, the day I leave the bank, it will be a huge loss for them, because they'll be losing an awesome worker. Someone who doesn't run away from hard work. But oh well, their loss. But like I said, I'm at a crossroads. I don't know where to go, or what kind of work to do. Cindy has asked me many times lately "What do you want to do?" but to be honest, I don't know! Maybe try to work on my art, see if I can make a career out of it or something. But really, I don't know. Banking is all I've ever known, and damn it that isn't good because it's not what I want to do with my life!

Been reading some books Cindy loaned me. "When God Winks" and "The Last Lecture". Been reading, and walking, and trying to untangle the confusing mess that my life has become lately. The road ahead of me is murky and dark, foggy. It's hard to read the signs, but I'm trying my damnedest to figure out which way to go.

Who else is ready to Brawl? A little over a week left until Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii comes out, and I'm thinking of getting this game! To be honest I've never played any Smash Bros. game ever before, but might as well put my Wii to good use!

Tonight after work I ran to Best Buy to snag a lan adapter. Since the Wii is naturally meant to be played via wifi and since I now use a Mac, the official Nintendo wifi usb dongle that I've been using on my PC is not compatible with Macs. So I had to go with the wired connection this time around. Actually I've heard good things about going with a wired connection with your Wii instead of using the native wifi. For starters, you wont have to worry about losing your wifi connection pooping out on you, and I've heard rumors about your wifi being compromised by nasty intruders and snoopers, but I find that a little hard to believe. Long story short, I have a Mac now.. and the wifi usb dongle that I used to connect my Wii to the wifi network wont work with Macs, so I had to buy a lan adapter for my Wii.

So why did I buy this lan adapter? To play Brawl when it comes out March 9th!!! I want to play online and enjoy all the awesomeness Nintendo has to offer to gamers when it comes to Brawl! So tonight while at Best Buy I pre-ordered my copy of Brawl, cost me 5 bucks, and got a neat flier that I have to bring in with me when I go to pick up my game on the 9th. Actually the flier is kind of cool looking so I took a picture of it.

Man.. only a little more than a week away till I can play Brawl! (and then Mario Kart Wii is next!!)

The puns just keep on coming!

Well, it can work both ways. Two peas in a pod, but in this case 2 P's (as in Apple) and a Pod (iPod). They both fit together and complement each other in their simplicity and ease of use. My Apple computer (a 20" 2.4ghz iMac) and my 80gig iPod Classic. I'm not sure what I would do without these two beauties. As addicted as I am to podcasts and music, finally getting an iPod was inevitable. Since the day I got my iPod (about a month ago) it has been on in use each day, playin my favorite podcasts and music to me, and even though I could be using my comptuer to play my music and podcasts for me, it just feels awesome to have an iPod. The ability to be mobile and have all of my favorite podcasts and music with me right in my pocket! It's allowed me to break away from my computer!

But that isn't entirely too true. My iMac I got just this week. After years and years of using Windows, of getting funky errors and worrying about upgrading my pc and fretting over internet viruses and whatnot, I decided to make the switch to Mac. Actually I have used Apple computers before, but it's been a looooooong time since when I last did. My mother brought home an Apple ][c for our family to use (this was around 1990 or so.. waaaaay past the computer's prime!) and we did use it. I used it for typing reports in middleschool, using the dot matrix printer and clunky (at the time) word processor that only Cindy knew how to use properly. But when I got into highschool the computer lab had the classic 1984 Macintosh computers, so I used those until my junior year, up until when the school upgraded to Powermacs. But by the time I finished highschool I wasn't a big fan of Apple. If anything their comptuers repulsed me, hard to explain why. But I was more accustomed to pc's and Windows 95 by that time.

When I went to college the pc was my love and I used it each day. The Monorail pc that my cousin gave me (still have it in my closet, the pc was like the iMac where the entire pc was built into the monitor and all you had to do was plug in a keyboard and mouse and away you go!), and then later Sywan sold me his 133mhz Windows 98 pc for $200 (which I of course still have in my closet). But when I finished college and came back home I was still all about pc's, and never thought of trying a Mac again.

Fast forward to 2008. The pc I've had for the past several years was beginning to show it's age. Actually my pc served me pretty well, and I upgraded the video card and ram, but I was becoming tired of constantly throwing money toward my pc to keep it up to par. Well, not only that but I was tired of always having to open up my pc and clean it and oil the fans (because DAMN my pc fans were LOUD!! It was like a 747 was idling in my bedroom!) and blow all the dust out of it. Well, I could've cleaned it more often heh, but what can I say? I'm just lazy like that sometimes.

Then last month I felt like finally giving Apple another try but only wanted to dip my toes in the pool before I jumped in. That's where my purchase of my iPod Classic came in. It's the first iPod I've ever owned, and just the quality of the product, the ease of use, and just how damn fun it is to use, it convinced me I should give a look at Apple computers again!

So.. after plotting and planning and invesitgating and reading and watching reviews of the new iMac computer, I made up my mind and ventured out to the local Apple store and plopped down some greenbacks and bought the iMac. Boy I really felt like a fish out of water! After using Windows for nearly my entire computer using life, making the switch to the Mac OS was pretty severe in my case. But thankfully Apple makes the transition pretty painless and easy to understand. Which this is probably one of Apple's biggest selling points! So nearly a week has passed since I got my iMac, and I'm learning each day more and more about the OS Leopard and how it works, and coming to appreciate this new machine, and even love it! Well, only in a platonic sense.

I may have missed the Apple boat years ago, but I finally hopped on board and have seen the light! Adios Windows, hello Mac.

This was just something random. First it started as two colors that met in the middle, and I just added more layers of colors and then continuously blended all the colors, layer by layer.

What came of this was a warm glow. Maybe its the warm spot we all have in ourselves? Don't know why but I'm drawn to this image (no pun intended).

Where was I going with it? I don't know. But it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. What do you think?

What do you think this is? I made it using Gimp today.

Enjoy!

Holy cow. After all these years I come crawling back to my old blog I started in 2003.

Well, after years and years of being chained down by Microsoft and using their Windows computers, I've finally made the switch to Mac. This week I bought a 20" iMac, 2.4 ghz, 1 gig of ram computer. Compared to the pc I've used since 2004, this iMac is a breath of fresh air!

I've gone Mac, baby!

:>

Anyone else use Macs? Thoughts? Comments? Pie?

I'm gonna go back to lurking in my apartment. It's a cold, dreary, rainy, wet day in Tulsa. Ugh.. please God, let the spring weather come soon!

Aahhh...nice and stuffed! Came back from some buffet joint, kind of sloppy food and most of it resembled boy scout camp food. The directions that were used to make the buffet food might have sounded something like this.
"Open package.
Pour contents into bowl.
Add water.
Stir.
Enjoy."

Barf..... But at least I was able to see some old co-workers for at least one last time, and freeze my ass off in the banquet room we were sitting in. Also, the blueberry muffins offered at the buffet were awesome! Bet you dont find yourself saying that any day soon! What a night to remember!!

Went to the interview today, it went pretty smoothly. Most of the questions they asked I already knew the answers to..so it was a little like cheating. Oh well. Later today they called me back, and I got the job! Pay! Stability! INCOME!!! The American Dream. Now I'm waiting to go out to eat with some old co-workers from my past job. Boring...but I stumbled upon this come-together accidentally today. At least I'll get a free meal maybe.

Waiting to go to sleep, but in the back of my mind I know that I should sleep now. Job interview tomorrow morning at 10 am, but I'm ready for it. Feet are cold, but heart burns with an unquenchable (is that a word?) passion to do what I am doing now. Funny thing tho, I only just heard about blogs for the first time two weeks ago. Where have I been??
Oh well, lets see how this goes. a ha!!